He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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