You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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