Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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