I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
