Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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