i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
