So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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