I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
