I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
