Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
