sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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