Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Four minutes until I can fart!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Are my feet made of real feet?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
