Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
