Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
