he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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