I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
