I am full of burrito and curiosity
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
