girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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