people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
