Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
