You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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