i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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