no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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