come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
