Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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