Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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