Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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