you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
