who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
