Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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