the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
