I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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