Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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