UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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