Having a random hookup so left but love u
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
