Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
