I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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