Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
