Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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