Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
