I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
