I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
