why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
