Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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