come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
