is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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