We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
