Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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