Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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