I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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