i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
