I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Panties = found
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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